


Reality (Day 7: Hurt - Comfort)

by Inkpot



Series: Infidget Week 2019 [7]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Coping, Derealization, Gadget has this dw, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, M/M, Other, Queerplatonic Relationships, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and they've got a good support network, but that's offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 13:50:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20797649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkpot/pseuds/Inkpot
Summary: Most of the time Finn is okay with having an illusion for a body. Sometimes he's not.





	Reality (Day 7: Hurt - Comfort)

**Author's Note:**

> Detailed warnings in the end notes, please check if you need them. 
> 
> Last entry for the week, and I'm a bit late but I kinda pushed too hard for the other parts and needed a break. But hey, it's still in the month.
> 
> AU notes: Finn's body is a phantom ruby illusion, which he's mostly chill about but sometimes... isn't.  
Not critical but, Shell is a red wisp that adopted them at one point and usually shows up to scold them into not being idiots. They need a lot of help with that, so. Shell has their work cut out for them.

Finn tilted his head back and closed his eyes, water pouring through his hair and weighing him down. The scent of steam and fake strawberries permeated the dark bathroom, filling his nostrils as the last of Gadget’s cheap supermarket shampoo swirled down the drain.

The water was borderline scalding. More than borderline, if he was being perfectly honest. But he didn’t really care. The burning sensation across his skin made him feel more grounded, if only for a minute. More like he was actually alive. And it’s not like any damage he did would be permanent considering he had no_body_ to hurt.

He had to suppress a hysterical laugh before it could escape. The shower was loud, but familiar enough that Gadget might sleep through it; bitter laughter, on the other hand, would be sure to wake him. Especially with the accompanying surge of emotion. He’d woken his partner too often before with his little tantrums; this didn’t need to be another time.

It wasn’t until the water started turning cold that he turned it off, watching the flow slow to drips before stopping. Eventually he came back to himself enough to grab a towel and start roughly drying his fur. It was one of those weirdly fluffy blue ones Gadget liked to warm in the dryer and make a cozy nest out of on cold days. Good for getting water out of fur too, thick fibers perfect for wicking out as much moisture as possible.

He realized he’d been standing there unmoving for a good few minutes and quickly finished drying, leaving the towel on the rack before opening the door.

A shiver ran through him as cool, dry air hit damp fur, chill against his heated skin. The smell of chocolate hung heavy in the dark room. Gadget looked up from the empty mug in his lap and managed a wan smile, waving at another mug on the bedside table.

Finn hesitated in the doorway for a moment before slowly approaching, taking the mug and sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed beside Gadget. The mug was warm in his hands, the sheets cool and smooth beneath him. He sipped the drink; hot chocolate. Not surprising, but it could have been some sort of tea. Gadget sometimes drank tea.

He flinched when a weight settled against his shoulder, but didn’t pull away, allowing Gadget to use him as a pillow. They sat quietly like that for a few minutes, Finn sipping his drink, Gadget unmoving at his side. He wanted to be concerned – Gadget was never so still unless _something_ was wrong – but he’d used up most of his energy already. Maybe he was what’s wrong. 

His mug was empty. He wasn’t sure when that happened, but he noticed when he went to take another sip and came up dry. He looked at the patterned ceramic for a long moment before slowly lowering it to his lap, eyes turning to gaze off at nothing.

Gadget shifted a little when Finn’s shoulders started trembling, draping an arm across his back instead of leaning on him. With his free hand he took the mug and set it aside.

Finn didn’t cry loudly. He rarely did, and never for this. But he knew his quiet gasps and the shudders running through his body gave him away sure as the emotions slipping through their bond would, oozing thick and heavy like molasses as tears escaped to soak his cheeks.

Slowly his sobs receded, leaving him feeling emptier than before but somehow more solid, hollow but present in a way he hadn't been. Gadget held him close the whole time, grip on his shoulders never faltering as he released the pent-up emotion. When he finally went still, energy spent and tears run dry, Gadget scooted across the bed and pulled Finn down to lay against his chest. 

Finn’s fingers curled in soft fur as he breathed in his partner’s scent. Old metal, grease, and something vaguely like apples that he could never explain. Even the cheap strawberry shampoo scent would have made more sense.

“Sorry I woke you,” he mumbled, half muffled by Gadget’s chest. He hardly cared. Gadget would understand regardless. 

Gadget’s hand on his back shifted so he could tap twice – _I’m listening_, or in this context _It’s fine_. And Finn knew it was. But it didn’t change his guilt over every time Gadget had to take care of his meltdowns.

They lay like that until Finn felt drowsiness returning, still a strange sensation after so long unable to sleep. He breathed a quiet whimper and burrowed deeper into Gadget's embrace. The wolf tightened his hold - pressure, contact, grounding - and pressed his muzzle to Finn's forehead briefly before moving to his ear.

"You'll always be real," came the spider silk thin whisper, the loudest Gadget could speak this late.

And if Finn started crying again, nobody had to know.

(They'd do it again, the next time Shell wasn't there to distract him from his thoughts and the phantom was quiet too long. And Gadget would understand, even as he wished he could do more to help.)

(And they'd get through it. Even if it took the rest of their lives.)

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Finn using scalding hot water as a grounding technique and having thoughts related to being not real, general themes of derealization/mild dissociation. Let me know if I missed anything.
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here](lessinkmoregraphite.tumblr.com).
> 
> Pic for the fic is [here](https://lessinkmoregraphite.tumblr.com/post/188034416842/day-7-of-infidgetweek-hurt-comfort-fic-for).


End file.
